Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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