Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
