Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
