the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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