My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize