sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
