party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
