Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
