yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
