The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sober January is a disaster.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Send help, water and tortillas.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
do nipples grow back?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
