Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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