is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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