I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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