it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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