hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
