Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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