do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
