So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize