the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
