Kareoke will never be a sober sport
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
