Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize