I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How's work?
Spinning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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