I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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