He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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