He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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