ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
