there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
