it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
look no pants
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
