roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
