His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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