i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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