Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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