Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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