My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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