i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there was a trapeze. enough said
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
