Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
