sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
