lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my sisters under your porch take her home
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
