He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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