What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
