I am spending my child support on dildos
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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