CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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