I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
