I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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