I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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