hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
