We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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