As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
