I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
