Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
