Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Enjoy the penises
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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