Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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