It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
