I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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