He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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