dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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