I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize