Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
