U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
