So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize