Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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