If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
