Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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