One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
