Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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