therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize