Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i think we sleep fucked last night...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize